The Wedding Planners Diary: To First Look or To Not First Look

Not really the age old question, rather this is a recent dilemma that lot’s of couples are trying to navigate themselves. The thought of seeing your soon-to-be husband, wife or life partner before the aisle seems daunting to so many, but will it help you have a better wedding day?

Let’s break it down together.

A first look is when the wedding couple chooses to see one another, pre-ceremony. The typical first look that probably comes to many of your minds is when one person remains facing away while the other walks towards them, taps them on the shoulder and has them turn around so they can both see each other at the same time. But there are many variations of a first look - first touch, first call, first breakfast, you name it. People are really honing in on the idea that a wedding day is about spending time with your person and taking control of where their energy is placed on the big day.

A common misconception is that a first look takes away from all the emotions when it’s time to walk down the aisle. But, I’m sure couples, other wedding planners and photographers alike can all agree that a first look offers more privacy, allowing the couple to feel more at ease and open with each other, letting their emotions naturally unfold.

A first look also allows a couple to spend some down time together, to get some photos finished and to help alleviate the pressure of the post-ceremony tasks. Ideally you can work your way through your wedding party photos, some family photos and your portraits, enough so that you aren’t missing out on your entire cocktail reception and get to spend time with your guests.

To not first look.

Opting not to see each other before the ceremony is the traditional approach, and there’s nothing wrong with that. Walking down the aisle and locking eyes for the first time in front of your loved ones can be just as meaningful as doing it privately, especially if you both hold your families close and wish to share this moment with them.

Consider these tips when deciding whether you and your partner want to have a first look.

• If you’re planning a later ceremony, consider a first look to avoid taking all your photos late into the evening.

• If you’re not having a first look, ensure you have an earlier ceremony time to accommodate post-ceremony photos.

• If nerves are getting the best of you, a first look can help you decompress with your partner before the day’s stress sets in.

• Without a first look, consider sending each other a heartfelt message or a thoughtful gift to express your anticipation of seeing each other at the altar.

• If you choose to have a first look, consider reading your vows to each other and save the “repeat after me” vows for the ceremony. This can ease the anxiety of public speaking on your big day.

The decision of whether or not to have a first look is a deeply personal one. There's no one-size-fits-all answer, and what matters most is what aligns with your vision and feelings for this special day. It’s also important to ensure that it aligns with your overall timeline. Hiring a wedding planner (like Ivey) can help you decide if a first look fits seamlessly into your wedding day schedule.

Whether you choose to share that intimate first look or keep it for the moment you walk down the aisle, remember that the beauty of your wedding day lies in the love and connection between you and your partner.